"Pools are great for holding water."
"No shit!"
"That's stupid."
"Balls, man! We just ran over a tiny bus!"
"The bathroom here is nuts."
"This is my hat. This is totally my hat."
"I'm gonna be honest with you, Rod. You look like a giant eagle with fire all around you and you've got a mountain for a face."
"You look pretty." "What?" "I said you look shitty. Goodnight Denise!"
"Seriously, man, this is one of the top-ten nicest things anybody has ever done for me. "
"I'm going in for a Vitamin Water, should I make that dos?" "No, I'm good, thanks." "Well, maybe I'll pick up a box of dong bags so we can knock boots later."
"HEY LITTLE GIRL! I DON'T WANT CHERRY IN MINE!"
(re some acid) "Well, I guess I'll do it."
I can't wait until "Hot Rod" is better appreciated.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Letter to the Past
Melissa,
My god, start using leave-in cream on your hair asap. You will look terrific.
Melissa
My god, start using leave-in cream on your hair asap. You will look terrific.
Melissa
Monday, July 28, 2008
Secret Shames
1. I read Vanity Fair and Vogue, like, religiously.
2. Because I no longer eat like I once did (i.e. a sensate vacuum hose), I look at pictures of the food I want to eat on Flickr (don't you DARE begin to judge me). Recent searches include guacamole, chimichangas, and movie popcorn (which I don't even really like).
3. I've never read Middlemarch. I own it; I just haven't gotten around to it. It's supposed to be pretty good, right?
4. I regularly watch Real Time with Bill Maher.
2. Because I no longer eat like I once did (i.e. a sensate vacuum hose), I look at pictures of the food I want to eat on Flickr (don't you DARE begin to judge me). Recent searches include guacamole, chimichangas, and movie popcorn (which I don't even really like).
3. I've never read Middlemarch. I own it; I just haven't gotten around to it. It's supposed to be pretty good, right?
4. I regularly watch Real Time with Bill Maher.
It's All Been Fucked Up In My Face
I forgot to post yesterday. Sorry. I had a really bad day, if that matters.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Doggs of Mine
Slavoj Zizek
Look at him, beached up there on that hotel bed like a logy walrus, his hairy tits pointed east and west, probably saying that Jennifer Aniston's character in The Break-Up was a terrorist or some other such crazyballs-yet-true thing. Talk about the real deal. Can you imagine if he had a blog? I bet it would be half treatises on how Stalin didn't go far enough and half LOLcats.
This Sucks
1. My Best Show Fun Pack got here yesterday. I got a wrinkled poster, a Patton Oswalt CD (featuring PO at his best and worst), a FMU shirt, a "Scar-Face" "Get Ready To Meet My Little Friend" shirt, and a sticker.
2. I am such a terrible blogger. I start these things up intending to be honest and actually talk about my life, but then when I get down to it, I type something out and it all looks so insubstantial. "Who wants to hear about your stupid life and what you have to say about it, you ugly, stupid sea cow?" These are all valid points, so I abandon my efforts to check my Google Reader or see if I have any new podcasts.
3. Here is what I am reading:
That's "Everything is Cinema: The Working Life of Jean-Luc Godard" by Richard Brody. I would have flipped the picture but then you would have made assumptions about which is my dominant hand. You can see my dilemma.
4. Here is what I am listening to:
Goddamn nothing! I haven't heard anything since the Los Campesinos! record, and the new Jay Reatard was a disappointment. Oh, and in "Melissa Gets To It Way, Way, Way, Way Too Late News" I just got into The Jam. It finally clicked. What was wrong with me? I am such a creep.
5. Here is what I am watching:
Mad Men, Venture Brothers, The Tomorrow Show with Tom Snyder on DVD.
Hol' up, I gotta say something about The Tomorrow Show. I watched one last night where he interviews Tom Wolfe and it may as well have been a conversation between my grandma and herself. Everything was "back when we were young, boys didn't dress like fags (or "wimps" or "weenies" as Tom S. and Tom W. respectively put it) and America is really great because people from all over the world want to come here and 'working class' people can still afford $50 flying lessons."
2. I am such a terrible blogger. I start these things up intending to be honest and actually talk about my life, but then when I get down to it, I type something out and it all looks so insubstantial. "Who wants to hear about your stupid life and what you have to say about it, you ugly, stupid sea cow?" These are all valid points, so I abandon my efforts to check my Google Reader or see if I have any new podcasts.
3. Here is what I am reading:
That's "Everything is Cinema: The Working Life of Jean-Luc Godard" by Richard Brody. I would have flipped the picture but then you would have made assumptions about which is my dominant hand. You can see my dilemma.
4. Here is what I am listening to:
Goddamn nothing! I haven't heard anything since the Los Campesinos! record, and the new Jay Reatard was a disappointment. Oh, and in "Melissa Gets To It Way, Way, Way, Way Too Late News" I just got into The Jam. It finally clicked. What was wrong with me? I am such a creep.
5. Here is what I am watching:
Mad Men, Venture Brothers, The Tomorrow Show with Tom Snyder on DVD.
Hol' up, I gotta say something about The Tomorrow Show. I watched one last night where he interviews Tom Wolfe and it may as well have been a conversation between my grandma and herself. Everything was "back when we were young, boys didn't dress like fags (or "wimps" or "weenies" as Tom S. and Tom W. respectively put it) and America is really great because people from all over the world want to come here and 'working class' people can still afford $50 flying lessons."
Friday, July 25, 2008
A New Age Dawns
I've decided to blog every day for a month, and for an excellent reason, too*. Luckily, I've actually got some things to say, so get ready for that. All you'll get today is this site I found (Zizek is my boy) which has the coolest loading I've ever seen. It unfolds like the title sequence of a Godard film.
*"Why the fuck not?"
*"Why the fuck not?"
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Favorite Moment of "The Dark Knight" (spoiler)
When Gordon is promoted and after all of the cops finish congratulating him, you see (and hear) the Joker's slow, sarcastic clapping. "Oh yeah, you're here too," the audience and police officers say together. And it's all because of him that Gordon got to be promoted in the first place. Very funny and creepy.
I also liked when things esploded.
I also liked when things esploded.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
I AM BACK FROM VACATION; A LESSON AND A BIOGRAPHICAL NOTE
I've returned from my vacation. I had a very nice time.
Now,
The Lesson: you are required to go to a proctologist even if your problem is merely near your rear end.
The Biographical Note: my proctologist's surname is one double-consonant away from the German word for Satan (woland and wolland).
Now,
The Lesson: you are required to go to a proctologist even if your problem is merely near your rear end.
The Biographical Note: my proctologist's surname is one double-consonant away from the German word for Satan (woland and wolland).
Thursday, July 10, 2008
I Am Going On a Trip
No reason to get excited; it's just to the Maryland Shore. But I'll be back with a full report by the Sunday after next.
This feels a bit scanty. What else is news? I've been reading tons of Achewood lately. I listen to more Joy Division than a grown-ass woman probably should. I had another health scare (am OK now). I REALLY want to try those Chocolate Dunkers things from Pizza Hut, against every ounce of my better judgment. And I learned an awesome new word: mamihlapinatapai. It means "a look shared by two people with each wishing that the other will initiate something that both desire but which neither one wants to start," and comes from the Yaghan language of Tierra del Fuego (let it never be said that human beings aren't all basically the same--go on, let it!).
FWIW, This is my favorite Achewood:
http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=02062004
This feels a bit scanty. What else is news? I've been reading tons of Achewood lately. I listen to more Joy Division than a grown-ass woman probably should. I had another health scare (am OK now). I REALLY want to try those Chocolate Dunkers things from Pizza Hut, against every ounce of my better judgment. And I learned an awesome new word: mamihlapinatapai. It means "a look shared by two people with each wishing that the other will initiate something that both desire but which neither one wants to start," and comes from the Yaghan language of Tierra del Fuego (let it never be said that human beings aren't all basically the same--go on, let it!).
FWIW, This is my favorite Achewood:
http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=02062004
Friday, July 4, 2008
Polar Bear Safari
Yes, this is real. Amazing. It costs a nut and a leg, but it proves that there is still good left in the world.
http://www.tundrabuggy.com/
http://www.tundrabuggy.com/
I Am Back; No, "Kid Nation" Did Not Get Renewed
Hi,
I am back to regular blogging at this site for now (that is, until I figure out Wordpress; yes I am that dumb). I have been waiting to do this for several weeks ow, because I wanted my blog's rene to be the same as America's birthday, because they are as important as each other*.
Anyway: yes, it's the 4th of July, and apparently rainy. I am with my family today, and we had planned a trip to Annapolis. Now we're just sitting around. I made cupcakes, watched the new "Venture Brothers," and read a bunch of back "Achewood."
What else? I've been reading "The Master and Margarita." Oh my god. This is so good. I can't remember the last time I've read something so...greedily. And this after "Kidnapped," which was...not for me. Turns out it is strictly for 13 year old boys in the 1880s. "The Master and Margarita" is for ME, NOW.
*Nothing in this sentence is true except that they are words used by many to express thoughts, veracious or no.
I am back to regular blogging at this site for now (that is, until I figure out Wordpress; yes I am that dumb). I have been waiting to do this for several weeks ow, because I wanted my blog's rene to be the same as America's birthday, because they are as important as each other*.
Anyway: yes, it's the 4th of July, and apparently rainy. I am with my family today, and we had planned a trip to Annapolis. Now we're just sitting around. I made cupcakes, watched the new "Venture Brothers," and read a bunch of back "Achewood."
What else? I've been reading "The Master and Margarita." Oh my god. This is so good. I can't remember the last time I've read something so...greedily. And this after "Kidnapped," which was...not for me. Turns out it is strictly for 13 year old boys in the 1880s. "The Master and Margarita" is for ME, NOW.
*Nothing in this sentence is true except that they are words used by many to express thoughts, veracious or no.
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