Sunday, August 31, 2008
Ahem
I've started updating my tumblr again. It'll feature odd bits of internet ephemera. Linked at your left, there.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
NEWS OF THE WORLD
1. If I had a literature blog, I would call it "News of the Word."
2. "Every word was once a poem." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
3. You can get certified online by the Red Cross for first aid and CPR.
4. What Is Cinema? available online (well, partly).
2. "Every word was once a poem." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
3. You can get certified online by the Red Cross for first aid and CPR.
4. What Is Cinema? available online (well, partly).
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Dear America
If you do not elect Barack Obama, I am done with y'all. I'm-a be sick of y'all's shit, and seriously: I may pull up stakes.
Do the right thing. This time it's very easy. It's not like 1989 and you have to throw a trash can through Sal's like Mookie did. You just have to select "Barack Obama" on your Diebolds.
Do the right thing. Own your legacy. Remake your legacy. You're Americans, for Christ's sake.
Do the right thing. This time it's very easy. It's not like 1989 and you have to throw a trash can through Sal's like Mookie did. You just have to select "Barack Obama" on your Diebolds.
Do the right thing. Own your legacy. Remake your legacy. You're Americans, for Christ's sake.
Goodbye Blue Joeses
My brother is leaving for college tomorrow. He's starting as a freshman at the University of Maryland, where he was accepted to the Smith Business School. He's also a member of the wrestling team.
We're very proud. Today we went to SuperT(arget) for the last round of shopping. I tagged along to offer my expertise, like "Tide pens are useful. Febreeze too." And, "yeah, he will probably need trash bags." See, I'm indispensable. The total there came to several hundred dollars, so we went for lunch to Ruby Tuesday's instead of the planned Blue Ridge Grill (give us a break, my mom's got college to pay for). I've only been to RT's once, when my old roommates took me, and evidently they've gone upscale since then. This means square plates and low lighting. My brother said that it made him feel like a Top Chef judge. I had a tomato basil quiche in a puff pastry which was actually really good (though it's hard to screw up quiche for me). I'm really sorry if this is boring but damn that quiche was good.
It isn't possible that he is going to college. I was just there, and he is just a baby. Oh god, it's happening. Age. Roiling vicissitudes of time, foaming against itself.
Anyway, if you are at Ruby Tuesday's, I can recommend the quiche.
We're very proud. Today we went to SuperT(arget) for the last round of shopping. I tagged along to offer my expertise, like "Tide pens are useful. Febreeze too." And, "yeah, he will probably need trash bags." See, I'm indispensable. The total there came to several hundred dollars, so we went for lunch to Ruby Tuesday's instead of the planned Blue Ridge Grill (give us a break, my mom's got college to pay for). I've only been to RT's once, when my old roommates took me, and evidently they've gone upscale since then. This means square plates and low lighting. My brother said that it made him feel like a Top Chef judge. I had a tomato basil quiche in a puff pastry which was actually really good (though it's hard to screw up quiche for me). I'm really sorry if this is boring but damn that quiche was good.
It isn't possible that he is going to college. I was just there, and he is just a baby. Oh god, it's happening. Age. Roiling vicissitudes of time, foaming against itself.
Anyway, if you are at Ruby Tuesday's, I can recommend the quiche.
Diese Scheiße Ist Bananen
1. THEY ARE MAKING A SEQUEL TO "HAPPINESS"
2. I just found out that Wale is from QUINCE ORCHARD. We probably go to the same Starbucks, Fuddruckers, and bubble tea/pho place.
2. I just found out that Wale is from QUINCE ORCHARD. We probably go to the same Starbucks, Fuddruckers, and bubble tea/pho place.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Phelps/Li'l Wayne on SNL Premiere: My Thoughts
Oh, Michael Phelps. Who told you this was a good idea? No athlete has ever done a remotely tolerable hosting job, and you do not even have a funny mustache (anymore) like Mark Spitz.
I hope, for everyone's sake, that Phelps finally eats too many pancakes or boxes of pasta and gets a tummyache, leaving Lil Wayne to take over. And also Li'l Wayne writes the whole thing.
(I would seriously pay NYC movie ticket money to watch that)
I hope, for everyone's sake, that Phelps finally eats too many pancakes or boxes of pasta and gets a tummyache, leaving Lil Wayne to take over. And also Li'l Wayne writes the whole thing.
(I would seriously pay NYC movie ticket money to watch that)
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Richard Dawkins Reads His Hate Mail
If this was an hour long show on HBO I would watch every episode.
Monday, August 25, 2008
The AV Club on Scharpling & Wurster
http://www.avclub.com/content/blog/portraits_of_awesomeness_2?utm_source=avclub_rss_daily
The Best Show on WFMU is my favorite thing forever.
The Best Show on WFMU is my favorite thing forever.
Summer Heights High
Very very funny Australian show from last year. Coming to America (HBO) in November.
Part one:
Part two:
Part three:
Part one:
Part two:
Part three:
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Saturday, August 23, 2008
British People Try to Figure Out America
http://chilled.cream.org/boards/index.php?topic=18766.0
I find this sort of thing fascinating, because I don't really get America either.
I find this sort of thing fascinating, because I don't really get America either.
Joe Biden
Yesterday I was boredly poking around Wikipedia and I saw this on the page for the Genesis song "Land of Confusion" (having recalled the video from my nightmares):
"Land of Confusion" was Delaware Senator Joe Biden's campaign song during his brief run for President in 1987.
I'm tempted to read it now as a sign. Anyway, right now I'm happy with the choice. Really happy, actually. I'm sure that something will come along to piss me off, but right now, I'm so pleased that it makes me like Obama even more than I already did. And, since Biden's a good Delaware boy, he knows how great Rehoboth Beach is. That's a special club (so far the only other members are Tim Gunn and that guy on QVC who crosses his eyes every time he takes a bite of something).
"Land of Confusion" was Delaware Senator Joe Biden's campaign song during his brief run for President in 1987.
I'm tempted to read it now as a sign. Anyway, right now I'm happy with the choice. Really happy, actually. I'm sure that something will come along to piss me off, but right now, I'm so pleased that it makes me like Obama even more than I already did. And, since Biden's a good Delaware boy, he knows how great Rehoboth Beach is. That's a special club (so far the only other members are Tim Gunn and that guy on QVC who crosses his eyes every time he takes a bite of something).
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Remember When I Blogged About My Favorite Things?
This eclipses all of them:
http://www.zazzle.com/doctor_who_cats_poster_print-228406097466018977
(for some reason it makes me feel a little ashamed of myself)
((because it's really stupid))
http://www.zazzle.com/doctor_who_cats_poster_print-228406097466018977
(for some reason it makes me feel a little ashamed of myself)
((because it's really stupid))
Get a Load of This Bunch of Assholes
Community supports bigoted, hatemongering principal:
http://www.nwfdailynews.com/news/davis_10423___article.html/gay_students.html
"David Davis is a fine man and good principal, and we are a gentle, peaceful, Christian, family-oriented community," said Bill Griffin, 73 and a lifelong Ponce de Leon resident who is no relation to the district superintendent. "We aren't out to tar and feather anyone."
Except of course when that is EXACTLY what's been done. Oh, and:
"He went so far as to lift the shirts of female students to insure the letters 'GP' or the words 'Gay Pride' were not written on their bodies."
http://www.nwfdailynews.com/news/davis_10423___article.html/gay_students.html
"David Davis is a fine man and good principal, and we are a gentle, peaceful, Christian, family-oriented community," said Bill Griffin, 73 and a lifelong Ponce de Leon resident who is no relation to the district superintendent. "We aren't out to tar and feather anyone."
Except of course when that is EXACTLY what's been done. Oh, and:
"He went so far as to lift the shirts of female students to insure the letters 'GP' or the words 'Gay Pride' were not written on their bodies."
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
I Entreat You to Get Real
1. I decided to start an ongoing feature where I talk about the stuffs that's going on in my life. Psst: this post is it.
2. Went to my grandparents house today. We've been trying to go as much as we can, as a family, because my grandfather's been having a lot of health problems lately. They've both been going through a lot, especially this past week. It was a great visit nonetheless; my grandparents are not like "old people," and would rather talk about current events or pop culture than how today's kids are going to hell (I assume this is the primary topic of conversation for most older people). This aside, my grandfather told me that I, Melissa, look like Hedy Lamarr, which cracked up my brothers, who found the reference impossibly old-timey. It's much nicer than Mary Kate Olsen, whom some people have been comparing me to (and who I think looks like a bad smell).
3. One of my newest favorite things is KZSU's "Entitled Opinions" show, which I listen to on podcast. Basically it's like going into your gabbiest professor's office, and they and their scholar friend talk Isaac Babel or Hannah Arendt at you for an hour. It's always academic, and frequently quite dense, but always absorbing. I haven't been listening to anything else for about a week (except for an annoying Cynthia Ozick interview; man, fuck Cynthia Ozick).
4. I'm currently reading "Of Human Bondage" by W. Somerset Maugham. MORE ON THAT LATER.
5. My DVD of Pierrot le Fou arrived!
Don't let my reluctance to bare my teeth* fool you; I am VERY excited to get this! Perfect end-of-summer movie.
And my Criterion postcard? Lindsay Anderson's if.... I remember my Dad referencing this one to me when I was a kid. I think I was watching the re-make of Fantasy Island and he was horrified that this is what Malcolm McDowell was reduced to. "I remember when he played the guy who ran into a school and shot all of the students, because that was better than being brainwashed." I haven't seen if... (I could tell it freaked him out), but it's hilarious and utterly incongruous to me that my Dad once saw it. Not that he was uncool (at all, he was really rad), but he was my dad, because he died my perception of him is frozen at what it was when I was thirteen.
6. All I am watching these days is Venture Brothers, Project Runway, and Mad Men. Holy mother of God do I love Mad Men, like all reasonably smart people with reasonably good taste.
7. Got Dark Chocolate-Dipped Creme de Menthe Altoids. I was reticent to buy candy but I got burned by the Elvis Peanut Butter and Banana Reece's Cups by waiting too long (I had planned to save them for posterity). They are delicious, 7.5 calories each, and have already melted inside their tin into a honeycomb shape. Oh, August.
8. Speaking of candy, this may ruin your life, but I can't help but share it. Hershey's has started selling some of their candy "fresh from the factory." We've gotten the Reece's and the Paydays before, and it's enough to make you want to cry.
9. Last five movies I saw: Little Murders, Persepolis, Pineapple Express, Band of Outsiders, and The Thief of Baghdad. All were great.
10. Gilbert Arenas might be getting his own reality show. HIBACHI! I wholeheartedly approve of this.
11. I saw the Passport to Washington, DC, and not only did they have Ben's Chili Bowl, THERE WAS A COOL DISCO DAN REFERENCE!!! AHHH!!! Sadly, no gogo, which is one of my favorite pillars of DC culture.
*I have a small gap.
2. Went to my grandparents house today. We've been trying to go as much as we can, as a family, because my grandfather's been having a lot of health problems lately. They've both been going through a lot, especially this past week. It was a great visit nonetheless; my grandparents are not like "old people," and would rather talk about current events or pop culture than how today's kids are going to hell (I assume this is the primary topic of conversation for most older people). This aside, my grandfather told me that I, Melissa, look like Hedy Lamarr, which cracked up my brothers, who found the reference impossibly old-timey. It's much nicer than Mary Kate Olsen, whom some people have been comparing me to (and who I think looks like a bad smell).
3. One of my newest favorite things is KZSU's "Entitled Opinions" show, which I listen to on podcast. Basically it's like going into your gabbiest professor's office, and they and their scholar friend talk Isaac Babel or Hannah Arendt at you for an hour. It's always academic, and frequently quite dense, but always absorbing. I haven't been listening to anything else for about a week (except for an annoying Cynthia Ozick interview; man, fuck Cynthia Ozick).
4. I'm currently reading "Of Human Bondage" by W. Somerset Maugham. MORE ON THAT LATER.
5. My DVD of Pierrot le Fou arrived!
Don't let my reluctance to bare my teeth* fool you; I am VERY excited to get this! Perfect end-of-summer movie.
And my Criterion postcard? Lindsay Anderson's if.... I remember my Dad referencing this one to me when I was a kid. I think I was watching the re-make of Fantasy Island and he was horrified that this is what Malcolm McDowell was reduced to. "I remember when he played the guy who ran into a school and shot all of the students, because that was better than being brainwashed." I haven't seen if... (I could tell it freaked him out), but it's hilarious and utterly incongruous to me that my Dad once saw it. Not that he was uncool (at all, he was really rad), but he was my dad, because he died my perception of him is frozen at what it was when I was thirteen.
6. All I am watching these days is Venture Brothers, Project Runway, and Mad Men. Holy mother of God do I love Mad Men, like all reasonably smart people with reasonably good taste.
7. Got Dark Chocolate-Dipped Creme de Menthe Altoids. I was reticent to buy candy but I got burned by the Elvis Peanut Butter and Banana Reece's Cups by waiting too long (I had planned to save them for posterity). They are delicious, 7.5 calories each, and have already melted inside their tin into a honeycomb shape. Oh, August.
8. Speaking of candy, this may ruin your life, but I can't help but share it. Hershey's has started selling some of their candy "fresh from the factory." We've gotten the Reece's and the Paydays before, and it's enough to make you want to cry.
9. Last five movies I saw: Little Murders, Persepolis, Pineapple Express, Band of Outsiders, and The Thief of Baghdad. All were great.
10. Gilbert Arenas might be getting his own reality show. HIBACHI! I wholeheartedly approve of this.
11. I saw the Passport to Washington, DC, and not only did they have Ben's Chili Bowl, THERE WAS A COOL DISCO DAN REFERENCE!!! AHHH!!! Sadly, no gogo, which is one of my favorite pillars of DC culture.
*I have a small gap.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
Pineapple Express
This might be the funniest movie I've ever seen in my life. That sounds so wrong, so off. Surely there's another one I'm forgetting about, but nothing is coming to mind. And YES I know that my opinion is suspect because I've been talking up "Hot Rod" for the past nine months, but much like the sharply-dressed guy on this season's "Project Runway," I have impeccable taste (wait, bad example). Overall my favorite movies include The Third Man, Pierrot le Fou, Rushmore, George Washington, and The Night of the Hunter, all of which are renowned by many people who are notoriously not dopes. Anyway, this is for funniest, not best all-around (although PE is well-made). In other words, the most LOLs-per-minute.
All right, enough formalities. I had hoped against hope that I would even like this movie. I thought that Knocked Up was fairly sexist, depressing, and not particularly funny, and I didn't really care for Superbad either (for the record, I loved Freaks and Geeks and thought that 40 Year Old Virgin was good, if exhaustingly raunchy). But David Gordon Green is my favorite director (if you haven't already, find his 2000 debut George Washington), so I had some hope, even though he's never really directed a comedy before.
I had nothing to worry about. Pretty much nonstop I was laughing, at various levels, ranging from a jar of pickles to whenever Danny McBride or Craig Robinson was on screen. But James Franco is the best part; he's a really, really good comedic actor, and fucking superhot, even as a really rather dirty and gross pot dealer. I think that DGG is the reason the movie's so good, though. It's hard to describe, but his touches are everywhere, and on a dialectical level, I recognized a lot of the films he cited as inspiration when he started working on the project (like Thunderbolt and Lightfoot, another balls-out bizarre action/comedy). He seems to understand that comedy is fundamentally about surprise, and knew how to manipulate his own beautifully strange, dreamlike style into the tired form of the pot comedy, to make something fresh. It makes me really sad that his version of A Confederacy of Dunces (with Will Ferrell as Ignatius!) got stalled, because PE strongly suggests that he'd have done the book right.
All right, enough formalities. I had hoped against hope that I would even like this movie. I thought that Knocked Up was fairly sexist, depressing, and not particularly funny, and I didn't really care for Superbad either (for the record, I loved Freaks and Geeks and thought that 40 Year Old Virgin was good, if exhaustingly raunchy). But David Gordon Green is my favorite director (if you haven't already, find his 2000 debut George Washington), so I had some hope, even though he's never really directed a comedy before.
I had nothing to worry about. Pretty much nonstop I was laughing, at various levels, ranging from a jar of pickles to whenever Danny McBride or Craig Robinson was on screen. But James Franco is the best part; he's a really, really good comedic actor, and fucking superhot, even as a really rather dirty and gross pot dealer. I think that DGG is the reason the movie's so good, though. It's hard to describe, but his touches are everywhere, and on a dialectical level, I recognized a lot of the films he cited as inspiration when he started working on the project (like Thunderbolt and Lightfoot, another balls-out bizarre action/comedy). He seems to understand that comedy is fundamentally about surprise, and knew how to manipulate his own beautifully strange, dreamlike style into the tired form of the pot comedy, to make something fresh. It makes me really sad that his version of A Confederacy of Dunces (with Will Ferrell as Ignatius!) got stalled, because PE strongly suggests that he'd have done the book right.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
The Drivers Licensing System in Maryland Is Inefficient
My brother is currently doing his in-car, which is designed for people polishing their skills. Many parents (ours) do not know this, and do not accept it as such. For some reason, the system has shifted from teaching people how to drive in high schools to having parents, essentially alone, teach their teenagers. This is why there is a decline in young people getting their license, not because of the graduated license restrictions. The restrictions are merely how teenagers justify their lack of a license to their buds and telephone pollers.
Matt says "hi." He says to say that he is doing two-a-days.
Matt says "hi." He says to say that he is doing two-a-days.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Nationals Stadium
I went to the new Nationals Stadium last night. Had a half-smoke and got a free tee-shirt. Sat in front of some loud New Yorkers. The game itself was really good--the whole time it was either down to one run or tied (Nats still lost), a bat got smashed, another bat got thrown, there was a dodged ball, a fight between the manager and the umpires, and two yellow cards.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Things I Like? This Is Them
When I saw this my eyes flew out of my head, expanded to many times their natural size, while remaining attached to my head on narrow spindly stalks. Meanwhile, my body flew out behind me, generating some clouds of dust. From nowhere in particular a "BOI-YOI-YOI-OING" sound emanated.
One day I will compile a list of the things that I like. A rough, partial list would include coffee, comedic media produced by British people, mint-flavored food, Godard and his films, Achewood, Slavoj Zizek, bubble tea, Rehoboth Beach, not being in love, Washington, DC, baby platypuses, baking, Whole Foods, Proust, David Gordon Green, Taoism, Bertrand Russell, hushpuppies, Italian (language), French (language), Isaac Grunewald, and of course hilarious jokes. Things like that book rank very, very high indeed.
(found on Very Short List)
One day I will compile a list of the things that I like. A rough, partial list would include coffee, comedic media produced by British people, mint-flavored food, Godard and his films, Achewood, Slavoj Zizek, bubble tea, Rehoboth Beach, not being in love, Washington, DC, baby platypuses, baking, Whole Foods, Proust, David Gordon Green, Taoism, Bertrand Russell, hushpuppies, Italian (language), French (language), Isaac Grunewald, and of course hilarious jokes. Things like that book rank very, very high indeed.
(found on Very Short List)
Monday, August 11, 2008
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Y'all Can't Stop Me Postin' about Slavoj Zizek
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2008/aug/09/slavoj.zizek
What does love feel like?
Like a great misfortune, a monstrous parasite, a permanent state of emergency that ruins all small pleasures.
I can't possibly agree more.
What does love feel like?
Like a great misfortune, a monstrous parasite, a permanent state of emergency that ruins all small pleasures.
I can't possibly agree more.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Monday, August 4, 2008
Smith Island
Smith Island, Maryland is home to a peculiar accent that's managed to stay English-sounding (specifically West Country, that is, Cornwall, Devon, etc.) since the island was first settled by the British in the 17th century, and the above clip features a few speakers of it.
Also, ignore that horse's ass of an anchorman at the end. The one who makes the butter crack. I bet he's not even from Maryland anyway.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
My Opinion of Food Network's "Good Eats"
Sometimes I like this show OK, but I understand if you don't.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Here's Today's Post. It's the Best I Could Do Because I Am Under the Weather
In The Dark Knight note that the Joker calls himself a "victim" while Batman is interrogating him. It's when he chides Batman for throwing his head into the table, which he states is unwise as it makes the "victim's" head "all fuzzy."
Friday, August 1, 2008
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