unbearable lightness of being rotten tomatoes
muscle knot
new york magazine blog
quince orchard
strong hands violin
pez
"shit sucks" idiocracy
rockville pike
hershey's
silence kit meaning
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
Eclipse's Larisa Shepitko Collection
Just saw both of the movies in here and wowowowowow. What a talent. "Two Masterpieces" indeed.
Thoughts
I had a whole rack of 'em.
1. The second I saw Bruno on the runway I realized that HE would have made the perfect judge for the season finale (spoiler alert: it is not him).
2. Whatever god, force, or Eternal Way is responsible for turning James Taylor from this to this is, if not of hell, certainly hell-affiliated somehow.
3. Vermont Law School is so pretty and cool.
4. FINALLY!
5. KRISPY KREME MOLECULAR GASTRONOMY MILKSHAKE EWW BARF
1. The second I saw Bruno on the runway I realized that HE would have made the perfect judge for the season finale (spoiler alert: it is not him).
2. Whatever god, force, or Eternal Way is responsible for turning James Taylor from this to this is, if not of hell, certainly hell-affiliated somehow.
3. Vermont Law School is so pretty and cool.
4. FINALLY!
5. KRISPY KREME MOLECULAR GASTRONOMY MILKSHAKE EWW BARF
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Project Runway Liveblog
My first one!
9:09 p.m.--This is not looking good. Shouldn't "pop" be the easiest thing in the world to do for Kenley? It's so general, and she's a cute girl. And just dress Leanne like M.I.A. Same ballpark.
9:24 p.m.--Tim said ONE THING. Kenley is past nuts. She's truck nutz.
9:35 p.m.--Did you see on the Emmys last weekend where Tina Fey thanked her parents for raising her to have confidence disproportionate to her looks and talents? I think it's actually true of Kenley. That or, you know. Truck nutz.
9:41 p.m.--HOLD ON, Kenley, HOLD ON. You're saying that Leanne--our Leanne--is not very hip hop?
9:43 p.m.--Kenley thinks LL Cool J is King of Hip Hop. I wish to god I knew what she thinks hip hop is.
9:44 p.m.--Hey! Caps won! Go Caps!
9:51 p.m.--"a woman going out to eat ribs." Michael Kors is a gem.
9:53 p.m.--Who keeps letting Leonardo DiCaprio do a Southern accent? He couldn't be worse at it.
9:55 p.m.--Ha ha. 88%. If you mess with the Gunn you gonna get shot.
9:56 p.m.--What? Korto? Man, they really had me going with Jerrell.
9:58 p.m.--UGH WHATEVER.
9:09 p.m.--This is not looking good. Shouldn't "pop" be the easiest thing in the world to do for Kenley? It's so general, and she's a cute girl. And just dress Leanne like M.I.A. Same ballpark.
9:24 p.m.--Tim said ONE THING. Kenley is past nuts. She's truck nutz.
9:35 p.m.--Did you see on the Emmys last weekend where Tina Fey thanked her parents for raising her to have confidence disproportionate to her looks and talents? I think it's actually true of Kenley. That or, you know. Truck nutz.
9:41 p.m.--HOLD ON, Kenley, HOLD ON. You're saying that Leanne--our Leanne--is not very hip hop?
9:43 p.m.--Kenley thinks LL Cool J is King of Hip Hop. I wish to god I knew what she thinks hip hop is.
9:44 p.m.--Hey! Caps won! Go Caps!
9:51 p.m.--"a woman going out to eat ribs." Michael Kors is a gem.
9:53 p.m.--Who keeps letting Leonardo DiCaprio do a Southern accent? He couldn't be worse at it.
9:55 p.m.--Ha ha. 88%. If you mess with the Gunn you gonna get shot.
9:56 p.m.--What? Korto? Man, they really had me going with Jerrell.
9:58 p.m.--UGH WHATEVER.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
My Digital Camera Has a Message for Me
"Hey, do you know who you look like? Mickey Rourke. Like, Mickey Rourke NOW."
WHAAAT?
No. No. Hell no.
At the insistence of the McCain campaign, the Oct. 2 debate between the Republican nominee for vice president, Gov. Sarah Palin, and her Democratic rival, Senator Joseph R. Biden Jr., will have shorter question-and-answer segments than those for the presidential nominees, the advisers said. There will also be much less opportunity for free-wheeling, direct exchanges between the running mates.
Picking Palin has been the one of the most cynically sexist moves in American political history (which says A LOT).
At the insistence of the McCain campaign, the Oct. 2 debate between the Republican nominee for vice president, Gov. Sarah Palin, and her Democratic rival, Senator Joseph R. Biden Jr., will have shorter question-and-answer segments than those for the presidential nominees, the advisers said. There will also be much less opportunity for free-wheeling, direct exchanges between the running mates.
Picking Palin has been the one of the most cynically sexist moves in American political history (which says A LOT).
Friday, September 19, 2008
Free Cat Food
Bad economy got you down? 9Lives is giving away a three pound bag of cat food. So at least your cats don't have to starve.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Y'all Can't Stop Me Postin' Bout Project Runway
1. Kenley is so annoying. And I hated that belt.
2. Less loving the nerd-bitch side of Leanne.
3. I only saw the commercial for Top Design but yo what happened to Jeffery Sebelius? It looks like he stole Michael Phelps's mustache.
4. Next week is going to be so amazing. "We're not going to tell her that's not hip hop." HA HA HA!
2. Less loving the nerd-bitch side of Leanne.
3. I only saw the commercial for Top Design but yo what happened to Jeffery Sebelius? It looks like he stole Michael Phelps's mustache.
4. Next week is going to be so amazing. "We're not going to tell her that's not hip hop." HA HA HA!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Wow
This was a bit prescient. I'm not going to talk about David Foster Wallace's death here, except to say that you might be able to guess from my use of words like "ludic" and my occasional use of footnotes how much his writing meant to me. Anything else would be too raw and probably too long, and certainly trite.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Query
Is it unreasonable or (not my phrase) "weird as shit" to be reticent to force yourself on other people, in order to befriend them?
Friday, September 12, 2008
Stalinist Speaks Out Against Panda
My dogg Slavoj Zizek on Kung Fu Panda. Also The Dark Knight, skiing, and Grand Theft Auto.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
AV Club's Old Cult Canon
The Old Cult Canon: 16 cult films that paved the way for the new cult canon
(bolded are the ones I've seen)
1. Freaks
2. Pink Flamingos
3. Rocky Horror Picture Show
4. Eraserhead
5. Aguirre, The Wrath of God
6. Night of the Living Dead
7. Two Lane Blacktop
8. The Harder They Come
9. El Topo
10. Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
11. Enter the Dragon
12. Performance
13. Suspiria
14. Wizards
15. Plan Nine from Outer Space
16. Repo Man
(again, not awesome)
(bolded are the ones I've seen)
1. Freaks
2. Pink Flamingos
3. Rocky Horror Picture Show
4. Eraserhead
5. Aguirre, The Wrath of God
6. Night of the Living Dead
7. Two Lane Blacktop
8. The Harder They Come
9. El Topo
10. Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
11. Enter the Dragon
12. Performance
13. Suspiria
14. Wizards
15. Plan Nine from Outer Space
16. Repo Man
(again, not awesome)
I Totally Lied
I am going to do more posts about Project Runway.
1. Leanne is the ur-Nerd Bitch and I fucking love it.
2. I missed last season for some reason (either it started when I was still at school, where we didn't get Bravo, or I flaked because season 3 was so boring) and never got to see the fabulous little motherfucker Christian Siriano. Oh well. Maybe they'll rerun that season.
3. Somehow Blayne managed to grow on me. He's the type of person who you can't stand but then you get to know them a little and they wear you down so much that you find yourself defending them over and over again until you realize that if you met yourself from the past your former self would disgustedly wonder "who the fuck are you?" Not that I ever liked his work or the "-licious."
4. Terri's dress looked like the couch in my mom's parlor with a currant tarp draped on it. Kenley's was still worse.
5. They should have shown Keith on his lollerblades when he heard that (SPOILER) Terri got knocked off.
6. A few months ago I think I saw Wendy Pepper riding around Poolesville in an SUV. It's possible: she lives in Middleburg, and this woman had a crabbity soreass look on her face.
7. Leanne's etsy page. Really beautiful.
1. Leanne is the ur-Nerd Bitch and I fucking love it.
2. I missed last season for some reason (either it started when I was still at school, where we didn't get Bravo, or I flaked because season 3 was so boring) and never got to see the fabulous little motherfucker Christian Siriano. Oh well. Maybe they'll rerun that season.
3. Somehow Blayne managed to grow on me. He's the type of person who you can't stand but then you get to know them a little and they wear you down so much that you find yourself defending them over and over again until you realize that if you met yourself from the past your former self would disgustedly wonder "who the fuck are you?" Not that I ever liked his work or the "-licious."
4. Terri's dress looked like the couch in my mom's parlor with a currant tarp draped on it. Kenley's was still worse.
5. They should have shown Keith on his lollerblades when he heard that (SPOILER) Terri got knocked off.
6. A few months ago I think I saw Wendy Pepper riding around Poolesville in an SUV. It's possible: she lives in Middleburg, and this woman had a crabbity soreass look on her face.
7. Leanne's etsy page. Really beautiful.
Amurrican Pride
I'll do much better on this one!
1. Twinkies
2. NY Style Pizza
3. Sushi
4. Shrimp and Grits
5. Muffuletta
6. Banana Bread
7. Chocolate Chip Cookies
8. Fish tacos
9. Root Beer Float
10. In and Out Burger
11. Garbage Plate
12. Fried Chicken
13. Half Smoke
14. Lobster Boil
15. Apple Pie
16. French Dip/Italian Beef
17. Funyuns
18. Coca Cola
19. Eggs Benedict
20. Blueberry Muffins
21. Buttermilk Biscuits and Gravy
22. Shrimp Po’ Boy
23. Ambrosia Salad
24. Ovaltine
25. Lasagna
26. Western Omelet
27. Sweet Potato Pie
28. Tuna Casserole
29. Tater Tots
30. M&Ms
31. Cheerios
32. Wine IN Napa
33. Jambalaya
34. Cuban Sandwich
35. Crab Cakes
36. Cheeseburger
37. Pork Rinds
38. Baked Alaska
39. Egg Nog
40. Pigs in a Blanket
41. Tennessee BBQ
42. Apple Cider
43. Thin Mints
44. Monkey Bread
45. Chicken and Dumplings
46. Mashed Potatoes
47. Matzo Ball Soup
48. Jim Beam
49. NY Bagel
50. Cornbread
51. Frosty
52. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
53. Cranberry Sauce
54. Kettle Corn
55. Downtown Mahattan
56. Rocky Road Ice Cream
57. Fluffernutter Sandwich
58. Cool Whip
59. Black and White Cookies
60. Pierogis
61. Rotisserie Chicken
62. French Toast
63. Chocolate Milk
64. Fried Green Tomatoes
65. Cobb Salad
66. Baby back ribs
67. Cup of Coffee
68. Cotton Candy
69. Bologna
70. Corn Dogs
71. Cheesecake
72. Pecan Pie
73. Scrapple
74. Philly Cheesesteak
75. Old Bay
76. Chicken Fried Steak
77. Rocky Mountain Oysters
78. Black Eyed Peas
79. Potato salad
80. Chili
81. BLT Sandwich
82. Egg Salad
83. Macaroni and Cheese
84. Red beans and rice
85. Mongolian BBQ
86. Hot fudge sundae
87. Red Velvet Cake
88. Sour Cream and Onion Chips
89. Bacon, Egg and Cheese Sandwich
90. Chicken Fingers
91. Mrs. Butterworth Syrup
92. Shirley Temple
93. Meatloaf
94. Grape Kool-Aid
95. Black Licorice
96. Buffalo Wings
97. Pulled Pork Sandwich
98. Budweiser
99. Peeps
100. Pop Tarts
101. Green bean casserole
(via here)
1. Twinkies
2. NY Style Pizza
3. Sushi
4. Shrimp and Grits
5. Muffuletta
6. Banana Bread
7. Chocolate Chip Cookies
8. Fish tacos
9. Root Beer Float
10. In and Out Burger
11. Garbage Plate
12. Fried Chicken
13. Half Smoke
14. Lobster Boil
15. Apple Pie
16. French Dip/Italian Beef
17. Funyuns
18. Coca Cola
19. Eggs Benedict
20. Blueberry Muffins
21. Buttermilk Biscuits and Gravy
22. Shrimp Po’ Boy
23. Ambrosia Salad
24. Ovaltine
25. Lasagna
26. Western Omelet
27. Sweet Potato Pie
28. Tuna Casserole
29. Tater Tots
30. M&Ms
31. Cheerios
32. Wine IN Napa
33. Jambalaya
34. Cuban Sandwich
35. Crab Cakes
36. Cheeseburger
37. Pork Rinds
38. Baked Alaska
39. Egg Nog
40. Pigs in a Blanket
41. Tennessee BBQ
42. Apple Cider
43. Thin Mints
44. Monkey Bread
45. Chicken and Dumplings
46. Mashed Potatoes
47. Matzo Ball Soup
48. Jim Beam
49. NY Bagel
50. Cornbread
51. Frosty
52. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
53. Cranberry Sauce
54. Kettle Corn
55. Downtown Mahattan
56. Rocky Road Ice Cream
57. Fluffernutter Sandwich
58. Cool Whip
59. Black and White Cookies
60. Pierogis
61. Rotisserie Chicken
62. French Toast
63. Chocolate Milk
64. Fried Green Tomatoes
65. Cobb Salad
66. Baby back ribs
67. Cup of Coffee
68. Cotton Candy
69. Bologna
70. Corn Dogs
71. Cheesecake
72. Pecan Pie
73. Scrapple
74. Philly Cheesesteak
75. Old Bay
76. Chicken Fried Steak
77. Rocky Mountain Oysters
78. Black Eyed Peas
79. Potato salad
80. Chili
81. BLT Sandwich
82. Egg Salad
83. Macaroni and Cheese
84. Red beans and rice
85. Mongolian BBQ
86. Hot fudge sundae
87. Red Velvet Cake
88. Sour Cream and Onion Chips
89. Bacon, Egg and Cheese Sandwich
90. Chicken Fingers
91. Mrs. Butterworth Syrup
92. Shirley Temple
93. Meatloaf
94. Grape Kool-Aid
95. Black Licorice
96. Buffalo Wings
97. Pulled Pork Sandwich
98. Budweiser
99. Peeps
100. Pop Tarts
101. Green bean casserole
(via here)
New Meme
Omnivore's 100
1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake
(I don't think I did very well)
1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake
(I don't think I did very well)
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Time to Get Political
Forget the Iraq War, the culture of giddy anti-intellectualism, and well, basically everything. America's most egregious shame of the aughts has been the continued failure to recognize the greatness of Sloan. Especially in the face of "Who Taught You to Live Like That?"
Monday, September 8, 2008
Pumpkin Spice Hershey's Kisses
They are even better than Starbucks's Pumpkin Spice Latte.
(much nutmeggier)
(much nutmeggier)
Open Letter
Dear Old People Who Are In Charge of Their Business's Website,
I know that when you went to b-school back in the early 1980s the internet was barely a gleam in the eyes of some nerds in northern California, and you're totally unprepared to develop this sort-of new medium into another means of trying to trick young people out of their money.
I understand.
But you must stop putting audio--or god forbid, video clips--on your sites. Young people often listen to music while they are on their computers, and it really pisses me off when I am trying to claim my Quiznos coupon and listen to "Woody Allen on Comedy" to have to have to stop and find the "Audio Off" button.
It's just what how we use it. Keep your site simple, easy to navigate and load, and free of bells and whistles (literally).
(btw (not you, old people, I'm done with you), this Woody Allen on Comedy thing is amazing; it's hilarious how even back then your more artful comedians--Woody Allen, Jonathan Winters--were annoyed with and shit on the popular, lowest common denominator ones like Jackie Gleason and Jack Benny)
I know that when you went to b-school back in the early 1980s the internet was barely a gleam in the eyes of some nerds in northern California, and you're totally unprepared to develop this sort-of new medium into another means of trying to trick young people out of their money.
I understand.
But you must stop putting audio--or god forbid, video clips--on your sites. Young people often listen to music while they are on their computers, and it really pisses me off when I am trying to claim my Quiznos coupon and listen to "Woody Allen on Comedy" to have to have to stop and find the "Audio Off" button.
It's just what how we use it. Keep your site simple, easy to navigate and load, and free of bells and whistles (literally).
(btw (not you, old people, I'm done with you), this Woody Allen on Comedy thing is amazing; it's hilarious how even back then your more artful comedians--Woody Allen, Jonathan Winters--were annoyed with and shit on the popular, lowest common denominator ones like Jackie Gleason and Jack Benny)
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Because It Bears Re-Asking
Why does coastal North Carolina support Washington, DC, area sports teams?
(it's like finding a new sibling!)
((one that really likes confederate flags and ron paul))
(it's like finding a new sibling!)
((one that really likes confederate flags and ron paul))
Jerk Does a Thing
Some nerd think that Poe's body should be moved from Baltimore to Philadelphia. Apparently Philadelphia's reputation is richly deserved.
Friday, September 5, 2008
This Looks Amazing
Wait, what does "amazing" mean again? Same as "awful" and "embarrassing," right?
Also, were people really clamoring for more Kat Dennings after "40 Year-Old Virgin"? I mean in a way not related to her boobs. I have been trying to forget about that scene where she's shrieking and crying at Catherine Keener for three years. For me it's up there with Salo on my list of upsetting moments in movies.
And is this how Michael Cera is going to go down? From Arrested Development, and now "Superbad," "Juno," and "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist." And the future don't look too good neither.
I want to punch that "h" on "Norah."
The Only Project Runway Season 5 Post I Will Make
Leanne is going to take this HANDILY. I knew that the second I saw this:
She and Korto are about ten miles past the others.
She and Korto are about ten miles past the others.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
APB
This one has gone out on all of my media platforms: the twitter, the tumblr, and now the blogger (I will probably not post it on Facebook because the stupid news feed forces people to see it).
Anyway: I am in the mood for some flan. Please, somebody: make me a flan.
Anyway: I am in the mood for some flan. Please, somebody: make me a flan.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
I Know Where The Summer Goes
Or so claims Belle & Sebastian. I, personally, have no idea. What have I done? I think I read a bunch of books and watched even more movies. I turned my family on to Freaks and Geeks. I had an infertility scare. I again considered becoming a doctor, which I initially scrapped because my biology teacher loathed me for being "poor" (I wasn't, my dad had just died and me lookin' cool wasn't at the top of anyone's must-do list--even mine) even though I was always the #1 student in class. I started a bunch of short stories and then got depressed and did not finish them. I edited my short film together (to keep the theme going, I decided once and for all not to go to film school, yes, because I am a loser who is not good enough wah boo hoo). I received many backhanded compliments about my weight loss. I was able to start running again. I revived this blog. I enjoyed "Pineapple Express" more than everyone in the world, apparently. I got a photo sold, sort of. I got into Rutgers Law and told them "no thanks right now." I saw a Nationals game in their new stadium (and was reminded of how much I love DC). I realized that I am approaching fluency with my French. And several dozen other things I am sure I am forgetting. Oh! And how could I forget the inexorable press on one's heart that is the feeling of time slipping, slipping away from you. That kept happening a lot!
A good alternate title for this post would be "Fun with Giant Blocks of Texts."
A good alternate title for this post would be "Fun with Giant Blocks of Texts."
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
I'm Done
Well, I've decided not to go to Starbucks again. That is, I'm never going to order a mixed drink from them. You can only order a no-sugar 200 calorie drink and receive instead one of the ones that they haul out on the Today show to show why people are fat (which in their defense is easily mistaken for the one I ordered) so many times before you have to tell those greedy corporate fuckers to fuck off (like I should have done in the first place). At least it's not like the time the barista called me a liar.
Barista: (calling out order) Grande skinny vanilla latte.
Me: Oh, I didn't order a vanilla. I ordered a hazelnut.
Barista: (smiling condescendingly) No, you ordered a vanilla.
Me: I'm pretty sure I didn't.
Barista: No, you did. Fine! I'll make another one.
Thing is, I would never order a vanilla one. I think they are boring. And it wasn't even like I was thinking of one and maybe it accidentally popped out of my mouth. If that had been the case, I would have asked for an Omar from The Wire Macchiato. And that time was not even as bad as the guy who made fun of me as I was walking out because I did not hear him exactly when he first called out the order and I asked him to repeat it. Seriously, guy: I hope your life is as miserable as you deserve.
I've made this declaration before and then been sucked back in. So it remains to be seen how long this lasts. If it doesn't, I'll be sure to post about it, and whatever excuse I've made to myself to justify my turn-around.
Barista: (calling out order) Grande skinny vanilla latte.
Me: Oh, I didn't order a vanilla. I ordered a hazelnut.
Barista: (smiling condescendingly) No, you ordered a vanilla.
Me: I'm pretty sure I didn't.
Barista: No, you did. Fine! I'll make another one.
Thing is, I would never order a vanilla one. I think they are boring. And it wasn't even like I was thinking of one and maybe it accidentally popped out of my mouth. If that had been the case, I would have asked for an Omar from The Wire Macchiato. And that time was not even as bad as the guy who made fun of me as I was walking out because I did not hear him exactly when he first called out the order and I asked him to repeat it. Seriously, guy: I hope your life is as miserable as you deserve.
I've made this declaration before and then been sucked back in. So it remains to be seen how long this lasts. If it doesn't, I'll be sure to post about it, and whatever excuse I've made to myself to justify my turn-around.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Awesome Baby Takes a Stand
Today my brother took a bad hit at his football practice and ended up breaking his thumb and bruising his shoulder (he's otherwise fine, and right now flying high on vicodin). I went with him and my mom to the emergency room (not really necessary, but had the day off anyway, so why not give moral support?). While we were in the waiting room I saw a mother and her twin toddler sons (all of whom appeared fine). She was trying to keep them entertained, but had apparently not anticipated what had brought her there and had no toys to occupy them, so she resorted to trying to amuse them with whatever was stuck in the stroller's under-bin. One of these things was a McCain '08 bumper sticker, and upon given this to play with, the baby looked at it, then promptly threw it into a nearby garbage can.
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