"EVEN KANYE?" "ESPECIALLY KANYE!"

This is what g-d's face looks like when you come into heaven.

MY FAVORITE MOMENT A MOVIE I SAW THIS YEAR

This is from David Mamet's Homicide, which came out when I was six, so forgive me for getting to it late (when the Criterion came out earlier this year). I still think about this scene (the granddaughter of the murdered woman confronting Joe Mantegna's character) once a week or so.

PRO TIP

The word "goodies" should ONLY be used in referring to these rad dads:



Them's it.

SHOCKING: "SUPERCILIOUS CUNT" ONLY HAS 520 HITS ON GOOGLE?!?

How is that even possible? It must be because people think it way more than they say it.

(I know that is true of me)

TAYLOR SWIFT: THE WORST

From Fourfour:

...if the AMAs are the celebration of a crass industry's crassness, then awarding Taylor Swift so often (via satellite) was the perfect choice, as she strikes me as particularly fake and dishonest in an industry that peddles artifice as a matter of course...yeah, I'm sure they were going to turn that camera on her and then be like, "Oh, sorry, country music singer, you didn't win." It all looked too rehearsed (and poorly -- where's the emotional variation, Taylor?), and I'm sure they told her to do this, but that she went along with it is just gross. I don't care how old you are, fraudulent is fraudulent. I'm so sick of this one and her bubblegum that she swears is country music because she pops it with the slightest of twangs. She pissed me off the second she glided back onstage at the VMAs to reclaim the acceptance speech that was so cruelly taken from her, as if she had anything of consequence to say in the first place! And then, she made the talk-show rounds that week, enthusing about how "supportive" everyone was being, as though she lost a kidney or a family member and not a minute of yammering (temporarily!). As though the Kanye debacle didn't bring her even more attention, which is CLEARLY HER POINT OF EXISTING as a commercial POP musician. You guys, make sure you support Taylor Swift after she sells a kajillion copies of her next album. It's going to be kind of rough for her and it'd be better if you didn't treat her like she was retarded, even though I know that's what you like to do to pop stars instead of worshiping them, America. Don't throw her away! Don't flush her down the toilet like the pinched guppy that she is.

I ROLL SULAWESI-STYLE

Hmm. (puts fist under chin in a move that for some reason connotes thoughtfulness) How can I convey to people that I know my way around an old-timey rumble while ingesting legal drugs? BOOM.

EYEBULBS AND MINDGRAPES

Gah! Sorry about that. That's my eye. I've been trying to figure out what the hell color it is. It's like, mostly green-y with gold flecks and a brown ring. It's not pretty, that's for sure. I had some dude say that to me once. "Your eyes, they're not going to get you much." Thanks, man.

THINGS I SAW TODAY THAT I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO UNSEE

YOWZA

Can someone make this into a t-shirt for me? I have a date tonight.

SORRY TO GET POLITICAL

(hissedwhisper)Why isn't anyone stopping him? This is the Beatles, for fuck's sake! What's next, the other most beloved popular art in the world? Jezus.(/hissedwhisper)

I AM ON A DIET

LADYBUG!

I'm going to take this as a good omen. Why not?

TAKE THAT, OBAMA AND JELLYBEANS!

My attempts to organize my space seem to have led to some kind of political art-piece.

GIRL CAT

Interests: sunbeams, Beneful.

PEARL JAM DO DEVO

If Eddie Vedder were more aware, he would have done it full-on Vedder-vocal, "Jeremy"-style. It would have made the world a richer place.